I got a blowjob from my first gf and I talk to my current gf as if it never happened and that I'm an innocent guy.

I think I might be becoming a shopaholic. The last few times I tried window shopping I spent over $500 in shoes/boots/clothes I didn't even need. And now, as I type this, I feel an adrenaline rush just from thinking about getting new stuff. Any suggestions?

I just had to use an online age calculator to figure out my age.

Listening to the song 'Heart Attack' makes me feel a mild discomfort in my chest.

When I eat meat, I pretend that I'm a strong medieval warrior while eating it. And when I go to restaurants, I always look in the menu for exotic meats from big animals; those are great for my imagination!

I feel incredibly dead. I have missed so many classes this year, am on academic probation, and am failing. I don't have any motivation for anything any more and I don't want to get out of bed. I fantasize of ways I could kill myself without it looking like a suicide so that people aren't ashamed of me. I feel so lost.

Before leaving my house, I always brush my clothes to make sure they have no traces of my own hair or anything else that could be used as a link to myself, in the event that I have to kill someone while I'm out.